My work is fulfilling and I'm reasonably busy every day, but I try to take a break during lunch as much as possible. Because of this company culture, when I go to lunch with my colleagues and superiors, the conversation always turns to love. I often feel a little envious when I hear stories from newlyweds and colleagues with successful relationships. My crush and I meet up for drinks after work, but I'm always the one to ask him out. I want to take our relationship a step further, but I'm worried he's not interested. I've been thinking lately about asking him out for more than just drinks. I just don't have the confidence to do it. I thought I had the experience my age deserved, but looking back, I often wonder if it's okay. In adult videos, male actors skillfully lead the women, but I've never been led like that. So... I decided to take the plunge and apply. I hope that having sex with a male actor will help me become a more mature woman.